I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
