i permit you to call me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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