Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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