: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
