please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
