I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
