Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
