the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
