Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
