Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
