i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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