Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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