I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
