OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
