she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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