He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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