Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
