It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
