Soap is not a condiment
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
