Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
