I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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