i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
