I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
