my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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