she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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