Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The Olympian is in my bed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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