ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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