Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize