how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
