OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
splinters make it hard to masturbate
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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