hotel room ftw
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
