we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
