Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
