Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
