stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
