You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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