next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
