He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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