Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
