Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Panties = found
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