YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
