don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
soo... how was my night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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