My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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