im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize