Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
