Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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