we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
