you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
