why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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