they said they heard you say put it in my butt
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
