I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
