the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
