There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
