I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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