brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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