It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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