Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
