you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
